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What to Expect on the Day

Unless you’ve already given one daughter away – you’re probably wondering what to expect.

To help you fulfil your role and support your daughter, we’ve summarised what is expected of the father of the bride on day of the wedding. Every wedding is different – so this is just a guideline. If you’ve got any questions about the following, at least you can ask and find out in advance so you’re well prepared.

• Check that the car is on schedule to arrive and make sure you have a backup plan in case there are any problems.
• Collect your buttonhole in advance if it is not being delivered to you directly.
• Arrive to collect the bride 10-15 minutes before you are due to leave for the ceremony. This allows time for photos and any emotional moments you are likely to have.
• The bridesmaids and mother of the bride will leave first.
• You will need to help your daughter get in and out of the car – take care with her dress and help to make sure it doesn’t crease. Look out for puddles or anything that could catch on the fabric. You will probably need to hold the bridal bouquet as she gets in and out of the car – so offer to do this.
• Try to stay calm throughout – especially if your daughter is a bundle of nerves. Hold her hand and keep her talking.
• The official photographer will probably take photos of you both as you arrive.
• The bride will then be met by the registrar or minister before you enter the venue. At this point, they will clarify what you will need to do when you walk down the aisle.
• If the bride has a veil, the bridesmaids will help put this over her face before she walks down the aisle.
• The father of the bride should escort the bride down the aisle on his right arm. Make sure you walk at the same pace as your daughter.
• When you arrive at the front of the venue, you will be welcomed by the registrar or minster. The bride will pass her bouquet to her bridesmaids. Having done this, the father of the bride should carefully lift her veil to show her face.
• It is likely that you will be asked who is giving the bride away and whether you are happy for the wedding to take place. At this point, you should pass your daughters left hand to the registrar who will give it to the groom.
• You should stay standing until you are given the nod! At which point you will sit to the left of the aisle next to the mother of the bride.
• After the wedding vows, the bride & groom will be asked to sign the marriage register. If asked to witness the marriage, you should follow to sign the register. The parents of the bride & groom are usually asked to join the newlyweds around the register for photos.
• The bride & groom will return to their places briefly in order to receive their marriage certificate. They will then walk back down the aisle followed by the best man and chief bridesmaid and then the father of the groom who escorts the mother of the bride. The father of the bride should then follow, escorting the mother of the groom on his left arm.
• If required, the wedding party will form a line to receive the guests – either as they leave the ceremony or as they are seated for the wedding breakfast. See receiving lines for more information.
• Photos are usually taken straight after the ceremony.
• If the reception is in a different location, the father of the bride normally travels in a car with the mother of the bride behind the bride & groom.
• After the wedding breakfast, the father of the bride will be introduced to say a few words (the father of the bride speech)
• The cutting of the cake usually takes place just before the first dance.
• The second dance of the evening is usually danced by the father of the bride and his daughter. Alternatively, you may dance with the mother of the bride.
• The father of the bride is usually responsible for the drink on the day – so keep an eye out for what is being drunk. If required, you might choose to top up the bar tab or just settle the bill at the end of the evening.

nofreetime tips

• Make sure you know what is happening on the day and when. If you haven’t been told a week before – ask the bride if you can have a copy of the schedule of timings.
• Before the wedding day, double check you have everything you need – suit, shoes and socks, speech (including any props) and handkerchief. If you’ve been given a schedule of timings – check you’ve read it and have a copy with you on the day. It might also be worth giving a copy of your speech to someone you trust for safe keeping – just in case!
• If you’re asked to witness and sign the marriage register, consider how you will write your name (i.e. initials or your full name). Those interested in their family tree understand the importance of putting your full name for future generations to see.